Meet Ben! He’s a person we support at Arnold Road, one of our residential care homes in Bestwood, Nottinghamshire. Ben has cerebral palsy and uses a wheelchair. We support Ben with all his personal care needs, alongside helping him with meals and accessing the community.
Like many others in the LGBTQ+ community, Ben faced challenges expressing who he truly is. Ben has gender dysphoria, meaning he identifies as a different gender from his biological sex at birth. Through our team’s person-centred approach, Ben has embarked on a journey of discovery, happiness, and fulfilment.
Discovering himself
From a young age, Ben felt something was different for him.
Ben was assigned female at birth, but when he started school he didn’t want to wear dresses, which led to emotional distress until he was allowed to wear a shirt and trousers.
Ben’s challenges continued when he faced socially constructed gender categories like toilets. As Ben navigated life, he often felt like he didn’t belong anywhere, and faced feelings of isolation and anxiety.
Following school, Ben attended college and learnt independent living skills, before he moved into residential care, but this wasn’t an easy time for Ben. The care he received didn’t fully meet his needs and he felt his true identity wasn’t understood. He was not trusted to make his own decisions, even down to the clothes he wore and the way he cut his hair. Instead of gaining independence, it was a battle to be himself.
Supporting authentic self-expression
Ben’s life changed when he joined our residential care home, Arnold Road. When he joined us in January 2008, Ben arrived as a young girl called Katy.
By having truly person-centred support, he was encouraged to explore who he was and what mattered to him. He’d expressed that he didn’t feel he fit the gender assigned to him at birth and wanted to change his name. He even knew he wanted to be called Ben, which we supported him to become in 2011.
He was able to connect with other people who understood who he wanted to be. Ben was supported by an advocate who encouraged him to join Outburst, a support group for young people in the LGBTQ+ community. Ben also created a social media account and made a lot of transgender friends. He began to meet them for social gatherings and really started to feel part of his community.
Through this community, and with the support of his team at Arnold Road, Ben took a brave step. He found the courage to visit his GP, where he was later referred to the Gender Clinic, and was diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria.
The team worked alongside Ben at his own pace, making sure he understood each step and felt in control of the decisions he was making. This included supporting him to express his identity through his appearance, navigate appointments and have conversations with professionals.
As his confidence grew, his team supported him and ensured consistent use of his name and pronouns within the home. They also supported him through practical processes, such as changing his name by deed poll and updating official documentation. When Ben started taking testosterone, his features began to change, and he lit up when his team noticed the difference. Ben was blossoming into who he wanted to be, and his team encouraged him to express his feelings.
Through this approach, the focus remained on enabling choice rather than directing it. This empowered Ben to feel recognised, respected, and happy in everyday life. Ben has been on a long journey, but our support has provided him a life he’s always dreamed of.
Having a disability does not stop you from making the most of your life. I have made important decisions, and I am happier in myself.
Ben, a person we support
Life as the real Ben
Ben’s now living a life that truly provides the freedom to be himself.
One of Ben’s dreams was to go on a holiday to Disneyland Paris. Eager to help Ben achieve this, our team worked closely with Ben so he could acquire a new passport. Having a passport with his new name on, meant Ben could finally create lasting memories as his true self. A dream turned to reality, as Ben embarked on the holiday of a lifetime, soaking in all the Disney magic.
Every year, Ben now attends Nottingham pride. He loves celebrating into the night with his support team and connecting with the wider community.
Ben also volunteers as a Voyage Care Quality Checker! In his role, he gets the opportunity to visit some of our other services around the country and help our teams improve the care we provide.
Ben is keen to have further surgery to improve in self-image, so he can fulfil his goal and live a life that is truly his. To support him with this, Ben is currently attending counselling sessions.
It’s been quite the journey for Ben, and we cannot wait to see what’s next!
Find out more
To find out more about our person-centred care and support, visit our dedicated webpage.